ihaveabirthdaywish
by awkbabe420
Summary: Hai guise! OM jizzle I missed u guise 4 rizzle. My stupid parents sent me to reform school,with no computar wtfff,but and im finally back. Its been a long 2 years away but im like way more mature now and hopefully my stories will be better written XD although im a littel out of practice becuz I had no inspirato to rite at milarty school Anywayyyy heres a little someting!1
1. Chapter 1

Carly's diary- July 24th

It's my sixteenth birthday! It's my sixteenth birthday and I was STILL a virgin. Even Freddie wasn't a virgin anymore, and well you probably already guessed Sam had has been around the block a few times by now. XDDD I had boyfriends before, sure, but I guess none were worthy of my, the famous web host Carly Shay's virginity. Lol jk I'm not that conceited. :p Griffin had wanted too, but well maybe I wasn't ready then. But I'm 17 now and my prude days are capital O-ver. Today's my birthday, and I like to think God pays special attention to birthday wishes- although I can't say he'll be too happy about mine xD

OMG it's 7:30 already! GTG school. I promise to spill the beans later! 3

Love always,

Carlzzz

Carly dressed in her tightest top, and shortest skirt- eager to pop her cherry. After applying some sultry makeup, she flounced downstairs. Coming around the corner with the traditional Shay birthday pancake tacas, Spencer stooped in his tracks. To say it was a big change from her normal look was even an understatment.

"WOAH.", Spencer said, obviously shocked by the dramatic change in Carly's appearance.

"Hey Spence", Carly giggled, kissing him on this stubbly cheek.

"You look uh…" A still frozen Spencer managed to utteruttered.

"Aw Spence you're too sweet! Nobody's ever called me 'uhh' before" Carly giggled.

"They really do grow up overnight." Spencer mumbled.

Carly scoffed up her tocos pankcakes and briskly joged to skewl. As she opened the front door all the boys stared at carlys, as sam would call them, "fun bags".

"Check out the bobos on the shayster" Yelled Peter to his 11 other friends.

The friends heads all turned in slomow.

"damn baby how you doin", whisled paul.

"HellO carly!" exclaimed Matthew.

"Hey shay" laughed Mark.

Out of left field, JC shook his head. "That's no way to talk to a ladie boys" he said, taking carlys hand and shaking it. "How do you do, Miss shay?" he asked chivlariously.

"hehe im fine thanks" said carly girlishly, blushing.

JC turned to the boys with a glance as to say "this ones mine". They left for class with bro nods.

"Whats that your drinking?" JC asked.

"Oh just a banana blast from groovy smoothie. I ordered a mango mash but I guess I got the wrong one." Carly said, obviously disappointed.

"luckily im into magic tricks said JC waving his hand over carly's cup.

"Try it now", he said.

Carly was shooked. "HhhhOw?" she stammered.

Jc laughed. "One of the oldest tricks in the book."

"May I walk you to class?" he asked.

"Haha sure." Said carly.

The two made their way to Maths.

All of a sudden, Carly nearly slipped in a big puddle. Then the water seemed to have become one with the floor.

Carly exchanged a surprised glance with JC. He smiled, gesturing onward.

Sam and Freddie were waiting inside the class with baboons for carly. "Happy birthday!" they said. "Aww you guise are the best" Carly said with hugs. Sam and Freddie both gave side eye to jC and carlys exposed big locking bobs. But it was her birthday so they didn't hagger her.

Later at home spencer said he had a big supresa for carly.

"Carly I have a big soprise for you", said spencer.

"What is it?" said carly,

"godfucking dammit carly that's the whole point of a surprise now shut up and linger in suspect"

"Okay carly the truth is you are my kid and our dad is not really in a submariene he is fake. I waited until you were 18 to tell you and you are now so I am telling you. My real name is Joseph and your moms name is mary but she was a whore and also dead so do nut warry about her"

"Okay" said carly. "but I have a date so we talk about this lates."

Carly met up with JC at the seattle mall. "Hey Carly" said JC. "I am glad you made it".

"Me also" said carly.

The two teens dabbeled around the mall for hours and flirted. It started with little touches and jokes and eventually they kissed.

"I want to go further." Carly said. "I want you to take my fruit"

"but carly, JC said. "that is illegal until we are married"

"then marry me and make me your whore…. immediatley" carly said.

"ive been waiting for this moment said JC as he went down on one knee and purposed. "carly will you be my wife?"

"yes." Carly said.

They married instantly.

"I don't think my mom is home said JC. They went to his house to harvest carlys fruit.

The two teens undressed and made like, becaue they did not love eachother this early onto the relationship.

Carlys cherry went "pop". There was a little blood but not as bad as when she cut her heel on sams dirtbike.

Allah a suden JCs mom walked in with shock. "Carly?" she stammered. "how do you know my name?" carly asked very surprised.

"because I am your mom!" she exclaimed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

'what the h*ck!" carly screamed.

"Than that means…." JC and carly said. "we just made incects!?"

"You used a condo right?" asked Mom.

"Whats that?" asked carly.

"it's a baby barrier so you can make fuck and not breed."

"Am I pregnut now?" Carly asked.

"We will find out in 9 months" Said Mom.

"Shit" said carly.

"Wait I thought I was an only child" Said JC.

"Well they left Carly out of the bible so we had to keep her a secret."

"Wait… your Mary.. Spencer is Joseph.. so that means JC is the baby jesus?"

"Yes" said JC.

"But the bibble was written a long minute ago?" asked Carly.

"We are dopplegangers" Said Mary.

"Who the h*ck am I?" asked Carly.

"Yall twins." Said Mom.

"wELL no shit" said Carly. "I mean why am I not in the book?"

"Nobody knows." Said Mom.

"I need to know." Said Carly, sprinting to her local library.

"Hello my name is Amanda, how can I help you?" Said Amanda, the librarian.

"Hi my name is Carly and I just found out that.."

"Say no more. I know exactLY who you are!" Amanda cried spraying Carly with peppery spray.

"AHHH" carly said, blacking out.

Carly awoke in a dark room.

"Hello Carly", said the old man. "My name is the pope and your real name is Judas and you have to die because you are jesus evil twin."

"me? Evil? I always do my homeworks…" Said carly with tears.

"Its not your fault." Said the pope. "The soul of judas is in your body and we have to kill you so we kill him."

"But I have fans! I have a webshow! I cannot die." Said carly.

"Lol so do I you aint special" said the pope. "I'm sorry to have to kill you. This wont hurt." Said the pope, preparing to put putting a IV with killing people juice in it.

"bbbut I'm pregnant!" Cried Carly.

"Shit fuck carly you dumb little skank im not allowed to kill babbys so I cant kill you now or the Vatican will be pissed" said the pope.

"yes!" exclaimed carly.

"you are free to go." Said the pope. "But after your babby is born we will hve to do an excorsism"

"okay" said carly.


	3. Chapter 3

Carly awoke on the streets. she couldn't go inside anymore because she was a dirty whore and no longer a virgo. Her belly was very inflated probably from the babby inside of her. Why was the babby growing so fasts? It was only 1 day ago her hole swallowd the babbie juices…

All of a sudden her stomachs hurt really bad. "I think I am giving birth!" thought carly.

Carly went into the nearest bathroom and pushed but no babby came out it was instead a really big shit. lol

Carly was sick of this babby inside of her. It was making her crazy and also hungry. Then carly had an idea. She would have an abort.

Carly got a coathanger and began to poke around admis her moist cavern, like a hunter looking for its prey- the prey being that babby. "cum on out you lil shit" she groaned. Carly began to feel lightheaded as a absess of blood erupted like lava from her volcano. She fainted.

Carly woke up in the hospital.

"you dumb fuck you weren't eaven preg lolol" said the doc.

"but then why is my belly so big?" carly asked.

"because you have cancer." Doc said.


End file.
